We’ve all heard different takes on how we use our words. They can be like wands—healing, soothing, building, inspiring, and connecting, eliciting the magic of love and goodness. Or they can be weapons—cutting, destroying, incinerating, obliterating, and dividing.
Silence, we are told, is golden. But even silence can be wielded as a wand of peace or a weapon of punishment.
How we judge others for their words is on us. What we choose to say, how we say it—on the page, the stage, social media, and beyond—is our responsibility. But just as importantly, how we interpret the words of others is also our choice. If we don’t examine the lens through which we filter those words—our beliefs, wounds, expectations, obligations, and biases—we risk misinterpreting them.
We don’t just judge people for what they say; we judge them for their silence. Those enraged by world events have the power to wield their words as wands or weapons. But not everyone is equipped to speak up or speak out. People are afraid. Do we judge them for their fear, or do we allow them the space to process it while we continue to speak, perhaps inspiring them to step forward when they’re ready?
Judging others for what they say, how they say it, or what they don’t say at all is, in my opinion, wasted energy. Judgment, like a weapon, is destructive. It divides. Non-judgment connects. And connection is something we all need now more than ever.
I wrote about this in my blog yesterday: https://www.customdesignedwellness.com/post/the-choice-at-the-falls-to-matter
We can choose to jump into the chaos, to be consumed by it, or to stand on the shore and observe, waiting for the right time to act—or simply to hold space in peace. Doing nothing is still doing something. If silence can be golden, so can pausing before reacting.
When we jump mindlessly—into action, judgment, or rage—we lose our center. But when we take our time, we can better discern how to respond. Reacting is still acting, but reacting often means personalizing. When we take the events around us as something happening to us personally, we disconnect from our center.
What is happening in the world right now has many people reacting from a deeply personal place. That can be an appropriate response when it comes from understanding, experience, and history. But how we react is the key. We can distance ourselves from those who don’t align with our anger, we can cut out friends for their silence, or we can recognize what we are willing and able to do—while allowing space for others to do the same. Rage is a motivator. So is stillness. Words can be powerful, instructive, and transformative, but they can also be hollow, destructive, and hurtful.
On social media and in the world, we can always find the like-minded. We can also find the opposite. Before accusing others of doing nothing, doing too much, or doing it wrong, ask yourself: Where is this judgment coming from? Is it fear? Is it anger? Then ask: What can I do with these emotions to transform them into healing, understanding, and connection?
When we are fearful and angry, we want to feel validated, seen, heard, and understood. But how can we achieve that if we only seek validation from those who already agree with us?
Some people no longer care about being understood—or about understanding others. There will always be the indignant, the ignorant, the exhausted—the ones who feel too depleted to keep fighting. But when we are exhausted, isn’t that when we are meant to lift each other up?
So when you stand on your soapbox, leave room in the crowd for those who are too afraid to stand on theirs—or who simply don’t agree with you.
We attract more bees with honey, and we connect with more people when we use our words as wands rather than weapons. But sometimes, even silence can forge connection. The key is awareness—of our choices, our interpretations, and our communication.
May we all choose wisely, interpret clearly, and speak truthfully.
Namaste, and thank you for reading,
Lauri
©Lauri Stern - Custom Designed Wellness
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