The master sticks to her tools.— Lao-Tsu
In this entry, Gates revisits the concept of abhyasa, or practice. It’s clear that these two entries are themselves examples of what he’s discussing today: balance.
He points out how life constantly tosses us back and forth. We get the job, we lose the job. We gain weight, we lose weight. We experience highs, and we experience lows. The key, as implied by the tools in the quote above, is to cultivate equanimity. Gates doesn’t use that word directly, but it resonates with me. Why? Because he uses his own experiences on the mat as an example, which I can relate to—and probably, you can too.
There are days when I feel amazing during practice, and I find myself chasing that feeling throughout the day. Yoga teaches us non-grasping, but it’s hard. When we feel good, we want to keep feeling good. When we feel bad, we want to avoid that. Freud even noted that we are wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Gates goes through this as well. One day, he feels like an expert on his mat, and the next, he feels like a beginner all over again. The goal is to find that middle ground, but how do we get there? Through the dance between practice (abhyasa) and letting go (vairagya).
Life swings back and forth—up and down. It’s always changing, and yet we resist change, even if it’s good for us, as we talked about in yesterday’s blog. I know from my own experience, trying to carve out time for myself while raising kids, how much I felt those emotional swings. One moment, I felt empowered to take time for myself, and the next, I felt guilty for doing so. Despite yoga’s profound impact on all areas of my life, life always seems to get in the way!
Gates uses his sobriety to illustrate the idea of priorities in perhaps a better way. He was surprised by how many homeless people he met at AA meetings who managed to drink daily, wondering how they could afford it. But when there’s a will, there’s a way, right? When we make something a priority, we stick to it.
It’s easy to say something is a priority. But making ourselves a priority, like practicing yoga regularly, can feel like a stretch (no pun intended). For reasons only we know, it often feels easier to make everyone and everything else more important than ourselves. We don’t want to seem selfish, so we give up the things we know are good for us, or that we enjoy.
But when we become “masters,” sticking to our “tools” like self-care, we can ride out the ebbs and flows of the days when we prioritize ourselves and the days when we don’t. We keep practicing. We are worthy of that practice—worthy of using our self-care tools and worthy of making ourselves a priority. Period.
If you don’t believe me, or if these ideas make you cringe, angry, fearful, jealous, or if you feel any sort of charge from reading about how you’re allowed to put yourself first—well, as I always say, “I have a chakra for that!” I’d love to work with you on yours anytime!
It would be my honor, my pleasure, and it’s my calling to help others feel good about themselves!!
Namaste, and thank you for reading!
Lauri
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