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Writer's pictureLauri Stern

Meditations from MY Mat-Day 8

 

"Vairagya is the elimination of whatever hinders progress and refinement." – B.K.S. Iyengar

 

I’m writing this on a plane heading to a wedding and a little vacation. It’s October 17th, and the Aries Full Moon is upon us. As we’ve already noticed, Meditations relates directly to daily life. Period. Pick any day, and you’ll find a connection! Interestingly, when I first received this book in 2012, astrology wasn’t even on my radar to the extent it is now. I moved from reading my horoscope in the newspaper (remember those?) to recognizing how astrology adds another layer to understanding ourselves. Now, I sprinkle a bit of astrology into my classes along with other relevant modalities.

 

Let me digress for a moment: Yoga was the spark that set off an explosion of information that began lifting me to higher planes of understanding myself—both physically and mentally. At times it felt like I was on a rocket ship, at others, a hot air balloon. Either way, through yoga, I was exposed to various layers, both from learning the practice and from the curiosity it inspired. Some of these layers, which connect deeply to yoga, will come up later within Meditations; I can already sense ample opportunities to explore them. Not to be like  Billy Crystal in When Harry Met Sally reading the end of the book before he beings it, I won’t give too much away for what Meditations discusses later, except one concept: Samskaras. These are deep mental impressions, which we strive to dissolve through meditation and practice as we progress along the eight-limbed path.

 

Samskaras came to mind because today’s entry ties into the concept of limiting beliefs. I hadn’t heard that phrase until a few years ago when I was doing energetic clearing before starting my business. My coach had me list all my negative thought patterns because, knowingly or not, they were restricting my growth. I listed around 80 or more limiting beliefs once I really sat down to examine them. Transforming them into positive affirmations was a powerful, valuable process. It wasn’t easy, but as Iyengar teaches, progress requires letting go of what holds us back.

 

And that’s also what yoga teaches: We’re here to do the work. While we may initially come to the mat for a workout, I know firsthand it’s impossible to avoid the “work-in” aspect. As my teacher and friend Pam says, “Even those coming for the workout will still get the yoga.” What she means is that yoga will reveal what needs healing, whether we want it to or not. At some point, we all experience energetic “muck” surfacing. We then have choices: figure out what it is, why it was stirred up, and how to clear it. For those of us on the path of self-clearing—whether through therapy, yoga, or other modalities—my advice is to do the work with open eyes, an open mind, and a heart willing to be broken open by what is revealed. This extends to healing not only ourselves but our relationships and our interactions with the world.

 

While creating this blog post today, I immediately had a limiting thought: I’m off my writing schedule due to travel. I had planned to post daily, and here I am, falling behind. But here’s the deal: Though I’m off my schedule and might post several entries in one day to catch up, the Aries Full Moon reminds us to notice where we are out of balance. For me, being behind makes me uncomfortable, as I dislike appearing insincere or inconsistent. Yet no one but me set this schedule, so on the one hand it’s up to me to stick to it or not. On the other hand I’m also accountable to anyone following these blogs daily.

 

When I feel I’m falling short, even by my own standards, I quickly go off balance and tumble into comparison mode—not for long anymore, thankfully, but long enough to notice I’m there. I’ve learned to appreciate the gift of noticing what I notice. I can then ask: To whom am I comparing myself? The answer is clear: I compare myself to people who follow through on everything and to a version of myself that sees inconsistency as a flaw.

 

But here’s the realization: this judgment stems from limiting beliefs that tell me consistency is always good and inconsistency is bad. Why do I feel I must be consistent in every single thing? That’s a limiting belief, a shadow, or even a samskara being revealed. And under this full moon, all of it is surfacing. What I’m learning is that what I seek in others—consistency and reliability—I’m really seeking within myself.

 

Gates says, “The yogic requirement that we move through life shedding self-defeating behaviors does not need to be explained or defended… It is human nature to obfuscate, rationalize, temporize, overanalyze, generalize, minimize.” When we commit to practice, the obstacles to progress become clear. That’s when we practice vairagya. However, because we’re human, we hold on to things that no longer serve us simply because they are familiar. The full moon reveals these aspects, offering us a chance to release them.

 

Doing this work—revealing hard truths and healing them—is as challenging as a battle. Perhaps we are warriors or pioneers, the first in our lineage to break karmic binds. The key is maintaining balance: doing the inner work while staying active in our outer lives. Self-awareness isn’t easy, nor is the work of healing. It’s not meant to be. The schedule we set for this work is personal, much like the schedule I attempt to maintain for writing. Some days I might meet it, and some days I won’t. The trick, for myself—and maybe for you, too—is to be grateful for consistency where it exists. Each day is an opportunity to balance the highs and lows, to follow through or lag behind. And each day is a chance to practice vairagya, to let it all go.

 

 Namaste, and thank you for reading!


Lauri

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